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I really like sauceEspecially when it's hotAnd it's called hot sauce
Belts hold your pants upBut besides that, they're alsoA useful weapon
When people cancelAt the very last minuteIt's so frustrating
Right now I'm watchingCurb Your EnthusiasmAnd laughing aloud
I am sunburnt nowAnd I'm peeling all overI don't like sunburns
I am back home nowI am back from MexicoI'm back in business
Out of the countryIs where I will be this weekYahoo, Mexico!
Spring break is comingOnly a couple more daysUntil I get sun
MemorizationIs a hard process to doOh wait I forgot
I don't eat breakfastBut I will eat a Pop TartWell, I do sometimes
Spicy foods are goodBut they are not so good whenThey come out the butt
I am starting toStop liking weekends so muchBecause I get bored
Foot massages areSo incredibly creepyBut please give me one
So, debaucheryIs a pretty damn sweet wordWith four syllables
Zombies are so coolI sometimes wish they were realBut only slow ones
I have decidedJimmy Fallon is a toolPlease bring Conan back
What would happen ifLeprechauns were real and stuffI would so eat one
I just cannot waitFor some things in the futureIt's time machine time
I don't like homeworkI don't think anyone doesWho is a human
I like to showerBut what I like even moreIs to take a bath
I like singing songsInside and outside my headIt annoys others
I wish I had aMoney tree so money wouldNot be a worry
Sometimes when I drinkA lot of liquids and foodMy digestion sucks
Coffee isn't goodIt actually tastes real badBut I gotta drink
Burn after readingIs less funny than sayingBurn prior to read
Japan's stock marketIs totally el oh elThey are so damn screwed
Ugh, the day afterA long night with lots of funIt's hard to get up
February sucksNothing good comes from this monthBecause I said so
One hour is leftBefore the day is done withIt is eleven
I like to take bathsIt takes far less energyTo sit on your ass
I don't like MondaysMonday is not a good dayBecause I said so
So the Pro Bowl's onI was going to watch thisBut I just don't care
Uh oh, I forgotTo write one up yesterdayPlease, please forgive me
Sometimes when I itchI reach down to scratch the itchUnless it's my crotch
I don't like the windIt makes everything so coldWhen's winter over?
Sometimes when I wakeI decide not to wake upAnd go back to sleep
Back to school todayI wish that I got more sleepTime to take a nap
It's "Super Bowl" dayI wonder how much moneyI will lose today
I almost forgotTo write a haiku todayBut hey, I didn't
I like to write notesWith a marker on my handTo remind me stuff
What is black and whiteAnd read all over the place?Anything with text.
I want to know whatBirds sing about all the timeWhy won't they shut up
I'm pretty tiredBut I cannot get to sleepInsomnia sucks
So Goldeneye wasA sweet N64 gameYeah that's all I got
Everybody saysThat all things taste like chickenWhat about your mom
When you have to peeReally, really, really badDon't think "waterfalls"
I wonder how longTill we all get head cancerFrom using cell phones
I was just shavingI got a bad razor burnIt does not feel good
I have a penisIt is what makes me a maleAnd not a female
I have never metSomeone who scratches their headWhen they are thinking
A new president?That means things are gonna changeIt's about damn time.
NickelodeonUsed to be a good channelWhat the hell happened?
Sometimes when I fartPeople shout 'get out of here'My farts kind of stink
Calendars are goodAt explaining to me if
It is a leap year
Moles are a fun gameIt is like connect the dotsSee, you can play too
Bacon is good foodAlthough kind of unhealthyWho cares, it's awesome
Ants are communistsThey organize very wellPlus they're strong and stuff
I am sitting downTherefore, I am not standingIt is pretty nice
I don't like to thinkAbout how my food is madeCheese is really gross
I am wearing pantsThey are longer than my shortsThat's why they're called pants