Hot Sauce

I really like sauce
Especially when it's hot
And it's called hot sauce

Belts

Belts hold your pants up
But besides that, they're also
A useful weapon

Very Last Minute

When people cancel
At the very last minute
It's so frustrating

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Right now I'm watching
Curb Your Enthusiasm
And laughing aloud

Sunburns

I am sunburnt now
And I'm peeling all over
I don't like sunburns

Back Home

I am back home now
I am back from Mexico
I'm back in business

Out of the Country (this week)

Out of the country
Is where I will be this week
Yahoo, Mexico!

Spring Break = Sun

Spring break is coming
Only a couple more days
Until I get sun

Memorization

Memorization
Is a hard process to do
Oh wait I forgot

Pop Tart

I don't eat breakfast
But I will eat a Pop Tart
Well, I do sometimes

Spicy Foods

Spicy foods are good
But they are not so good when
They come out the butt

Weekends

I am starting to
Stop liking weekends so much
Because I get bored

Foot Massages

Foot massages are
So incredibly creepy
But please give me one

Debauchery

So, debauchery
Is a pretty damn sweet word
With four syllables

Zombies

Zombies are so cool
I sometimes wish they were real
But only slow ones

Jimmy Fallon

I have decided
Jimmy Fallon is a tool
Please bring Conan back

Leprechauns

What would happen if
Leprechauns were real and stuff
I would so eat one

Time Machine

I just cannot wait
For some things in the future
It's time machine time

Homework

I don't like homework
I don't think anyone does
Who is a human

Take a Bath

I like to shower
But what I like even more
Is to take a bath

Singing Songs

I like singing songs
Inside and outside my head
It annoys others

Money Tree

I wish I had a
Money tree so money would
Not be a worry

Digestion

Sometimes when I drink
A lot of liquids and food
My digestion sucks

Coffee

Coffee isn't good
It actually tastes real bad
But I gotta drink

Burn After Reading

Burn after reading
Is less funny than saying
Burn prior to read

Japan's Economy

Japan's stock market
Is totally el oh el
They are so damn screwed

Ugh

Ugh, the day after
A long night with lots of fun
It's hard to get up

February

February sucks
Nothing good comes from this month
Because I said so

Eleven

One hour is left
Before the day is done with
It is eleven

Baths

I like to take baths
It takes far less energy
To sit on your ass

Mondays

I don't like Mondays
Monday is not a good day
Because I said so

Pro Bowl

So the Pro Bowl's on
I was going to watch this
But I just don't care

I Forgot

Uh oh, I forgot
To write one up yesterday
Please, please forgive me

Itch

Sometimes when I itch
I reach down to scratch the itch
Unless it's my crotch

Wind

I don't like the wind
It makes everything so cold
When's winter over?

Back to Sleep

Sometimes when I wake
I decide not to wake up
And go back to sleep

Back to School

Back to school today
I wish that I got more sleep
Time to take a nap

Super Bowl

It's "Super Bowl" day
I wonder how much money
I will lose today

Almost Forgot

I almost forgot
To write a haiku today
But hey, I didn't

Notes

I like to write notes
With a marker on my hand
To remind me stuff

Read All Over

What is black and white
And read all over the place?
Anything with text.

Birds Singing

I want to know what
Birds sing about all the time
Why won't they shut up

Insomnia

I'm pretty tired
But I cannot get to sleep
Insomnia sucks

Goldeneye

So Goldeneye was
A sweet N64 game
Yeah that's all I got

Tastes like Chicken

Everybody says
That all things taste like chicken
What about your mom

Peeing

When you have to pee
Really, really, really bad
Don't think "waterfalls"

Cell Phones

I wonder how long
Till we all get head cancer
From using cell phones

Razor Burn

I was just shaving
I got a bad razor burn
It does not feel good

Penis

I have a penis
It is what makes me a male
And not a female

Scratching Your Head

I have never met
Someone who scratches their head
When they are thinking

A New President

A new president?
That means things are gonna change
It's about damn time.

Nickelodeon

Nickelodeon
Used to be a good channel
What the hell happened?

Farts

Sometimes when I fart
People shout 'get out of here'
My farts kind of stink

Calendars

Calendars are good
At explaining to me if
It is a leap year

Moles

Moles are a fun game
It is like connect the dots
See, you can play too

Bacon

Bacon is good food
Although kind of unhealthy
Who cares, it's awesome

Ants

Ants are communists
They organize very well
Plus they're strong and stuff

Sitting

I am sitting down
Therefore, I am not standing
It is pretty nice

Cheese

I don't like to think
About how my food is made
Cheese is really gross

Pants

I am wearing pants
They are longer than my shorts
That's why they're called pants